Enchanted Cloth Armor of Embarrassment
by ManOfChocolate
Summary: Deep within Asgore's messy storage room lies a terrible secret buried under a mountain of fabric. A secret Undyne does not want revealed under any circumstance and is willing to eliminate any who might come close to unearthing it. Frisk just found it.
NOTE: Crosspost from AO3. Original title is **Cloth Armor of Embarrassment +5** , but doesn't allow for symbols in the title.

* * *

"Geez Asgore, when's the last time you've cleaned this place out?"

Undyne looked around, unsure where to go next. There wasn't a single spot that didn't have some sort of knick-knack lying about, ready to sink into unwary feet. She finally decided to take a long shot and vaulted over to the next area she could designate as a safe spot. Not that it was empty, but at least it was a collection of pillows.

Asgore Dreemurr was many things, but neatly organized was unlikely to be one of them. Even while Toriel was around, he had constant issues with managing his rapidly growing memorabilia and after the events that drove them apart, that got infinitely worse. The only thing that managed to stick was the concession he managed to squeeze out early on: he could keep everything he wanted, as long as it was a single room. He was committed to that promise.

He very much wished he had been a dirty liar instead.

"That would be... never." Asgore admitted, scratching his beard. He was rummaging through an old box full of various fabrics. Every now and again, he picked one out and tossed it behind himself. "Thank you, Frisk."

The sentient tower of cloth shambled around behind him, its cries of help and desperation unheard to all those who resided outside the silky prison. Undyne snickered at the sad sight of the human, now transformed into a hulking golem by Asgore's hoard.

"Seriously though, you know you can't possibly haul all this stuff over to the Surface, right?" she turned back to the king, leaving her bestie to stumble around a while longer.

"I know that, but they're all fond little memories." Asgore sighed. "I'd hate to throw out something valuable or precious by accident."

"Nah, I don't get that at all." she mused, trying to help by picking out things Asgore might definitely want to keep. That, to the king's sadness, covered a good three-quarters of the room.

"But don't you like to keep some things around the house? For the sake of remembering them?"

"I'd just misplace them, house included!" Undyne smiled with a surprising amount of pride. "Burnt down another, third one this year!"

Asgore raised a furry brow.

"That's... quite the achievement." he said, only to return to his fierce spelunking. "Have you seen Frisk anywhere? They've been so quiet."

"How is that new?" the former leader of the Royal Guard laughed.

The cloth monster behind Asgore has been silent for a long time though, save for the occasional whimpers. She hopped over once again and grabbed the golem on either side.

"Hang on, buddy!"

She grabbed the lower-midsection of the construct and started shaking it vigorously. The creature went through an accelerated molting right that instant, eventually reduced to a single human child with a keen sense of vertigo, much to Undyne's amusement.

"I did tell you to hold-" she paused, taking note of the only bit of cloth still stuck to Frisk. Whether they held on to it, or if it was just static did not matter, just the very existence and presence of it.

"Dizzy..." Frisk whined, opening their still bouncing eyes to find Undyne gazing at them with a face so red they thought she was on fire.

Sweating bullets of all calibers, her eyes focused solely on the cloth in their hands. In its heyday, it had probably been a polka-dotted tablecloth or bed sheet, but has since faded in color. All the patterns were stitched over a a hundred times; an amalgam of corrective stitches and bits from practically every other clothing in the world.

"Oh, Frisk, there you are!" Asgore smiled as he turned around and noticed the human. "And what have you-oh golly! Do you know what that is?" he asked, his rumbling abdomen already saying far too much.

"No, they have absolutely no idea, how about we keep it that way?!"

Undyne's voice was a significantly higher pitch than usual, something that did not go unnoticed by Frisk. When she reached to yank it away, they pulled back to keep it safe.

"Why it's Undyne's little blanket!" King Dreemurr started outright laughing.

Frisk snorted loudly, Undyne's sharp glare doing precious little to prevent them from doing so. The fingers very slowly crawling up their neck however, were promising to be sufficient in time.

"I remember like it was yesterday..." the king mused, taking a trip down memory lane just as Undyne planned to turn Frisk into a distant memory. "You were so tired from our afternoon training, that you just slumped over your afternoon tea. I took you up so you could at least sleep in a bed, but you were tossing around so much I thought you would fall off. So I tucked you in with one of Tori's old home-made extra-fluff blankets."

Asgore was so amused by the old memory he had to wipe a stray tear from his eye. Frisk was tearing up as well, but from the effort of not just bursting out into laughter. Undyne's palpable fury made it seem like an unwise plan. "Not an hour later, I'm tending to the garden and you burst out through the door and challenged me to a rematch, blanket tied around your neck like a cape."

Frisk was openly laughing at this point, dropping from Undyne's weakened grasp onto the pile of clothes scattered about. Asgore either didn't notice or didn't care, chuckling merrily along with the human. Shaking all over, she approached and opened the door for a brief moments.

"A-asgore? I think Papyrus and Sans are calling for you." she mumbled, her voice trembling with embarrassment and rage.

"Really?" Asgore stepped over to the door as well. "I can't hear them at all."

"You just forgot to shave the fur from your ears again." she said, pushing the sizable Dreemurr slowly out the door. "They said something about skeletons in your close and how they might be distant cousins or something, you better check before they start a family reunion or something, we'll just finish up here in the meantime!" she spluttered, pushing her king straight out the room, in his own house no less.

As the door slammed shut behind Undyne, she sighed and flicked her hand. The familiar buzz of magic tickled her palm as she summoned one of her trusty spears. She picked her head up and surveyed the room, her one eye scanning for even the slightest motion.

"Frisk?" she cooed. "Won't you come out, please?"

Her eye darted around, but wherever they were hiding, they had no intention of revealing themselves just yet. Undyne was more than ready to demolish the entire room though, if that would lead her to the human.

"I just want to see that blanket again, for old times' sake." she continued, her voice cracking briefly over the word. "So how about it, bestie?"

A brief motion from the right caught her eyes. She twisted the spear in the right direction, stopping only inches from skewering nothing but a crude puppet of Asgore. She sighed and allowed herself a brief chuckle over the imaginary near-regicide. The human definitely got craftier since their first encounter.

She held onto that thought even as something crashed into her from the side. While long years of training did prepare her for ambushes like this, it didn't take into account the environmental hazards of Asgore's storage. Tripping over a box, she fell back onto yet another pile of clothes and rags, which at this point seemed to make up most of the king's stored treasures.

"Proud of yourself, punk?" she asked, flashing a fang-filled grin at the human.

Frisk nodded proudly, standing on top of a crumbling old chest. The blanket was tied around their neck, just as Asgore had described Undyne earlier. Their smile was as wide as their face would allow it. Their stance was fierce, but also had a childish innocence to it.

The smile quickly vanished as the chest took its dying breath under their foot and collapsed. Frisk yelped and grabbed onto whatever they could, but was still left with one foot trapped to the knee. They looked up just in time to see Undyne standing up as well

"Fuhuhu!" the monster chuckled and beamed down at the positively worried human. "And this is where the fun part starts..."

Frisk shook off the first wave of fear and met her glare. They put up both hands in the most awkwardly ineffectual fighting stance the warrior has ever seen and yet it made her all giddy. Even if the child had no intention off fighting for real, she had plenty of time to learn that did not mean they lacked the courage to do so. It was for this reason they were the most honorable foe she could imagine.

Strong. Proud.

And **DETERMINED**.

* * *

Undyne glanced up to see Frisk waving their hand, whining loudly. There was no immediate danger, she could confirm that within a heart beat, and yet they still acted like the world was about to end.

"Alright, alright, what did you do this time?"

She walked over to see them holding the finger as high as they could, a tiny stream of blood tricking from what must have been a wayward thorn. An injury too minor to even notice, but Frisk's hand was trembling just a bit nonetheless.

"Come on Frisk, this is the third time in an hour." she laughed it off, but already palmed a brightly-colored MTT-brand bandage. She fastened it around the wound and ruffled the kid's dorky hair up for the trouble. "What are you gonna do on the Surface at this rate?"

Frisk huffed, but their righteous indignation was quickly replaced by an awkward glance at the ground instead. After Asgore, or rather King Dreemurr the Unimpressed, chased them out of the wrecked room with his trident in hand no less, gardening did seem like the best way of staying close to the house without directly facing the displeased monarch. It also gave Undyne plenty of time to clearly tell Frisk was also a bit worried about their return to the human world.

The monster sighed and pulled the blanket she fastened around her waist and pulled it over Frisk's shoulders. They were surprised, as even with all the teasing, she clearly had a lot of memories tied to the tattered fabric. She pulled the kid closer, and pat their back.

"Hold onto this for me, okay?" she said, loosely tying it below Frisk's neck. She met their surprised face and chuckled. "I can't have you walking around in plate armor after all, dummy! You saw how much good that did me in Hotland!"

They were beaming at her with eyes like saucers, prompting Undyne to ruffle their hair again. She loved making the little human flail around, in an attempt to fend her off.

"This'll protect you better than anything else." she promised. "And if anything happens, you can come running to me, Alphys, Asgore, Toriel, Papyrus or pretty much any monster. Even Sans. And whatever happened, we'll fix it right up. One stitch over the other, as many times as you want."

Frisk's familiar bright smile returned with full force, so much so that Undyne couldn't resist flashing her fangs in return.

"Trust me Frisk, Cloth Armor is the way to go."

They both put up a valiant fight over a couple of seconds, before bursting into laughter.

* * *

 **A/N: Aaand once again a request originally for one of /utg/'s denizens! The prompt for this one was "while clearing out Asgore's home for the move to the surface, Undyne finds her old safety blanket and is instantly embarrassed". My gratitude to the relentless Anon behind the /utg/ Writebin and their original title for this one: "Cloth Armor is the Way To Go". Will write for chocolate!**


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